$20 in Laundry

Debbie found $20 in the laundry tonight and asked me if I was missing any money. She said Katie Rose, who just babysat last night, said it wasn’t hers. Without me having to say much, Katie Rose then proceeded to make the case that it was mine rather than Debbie’s.

First, Katie Rose asked whose laundry it was in–the kids’ or the parents’–and Debbie said, “Mine and Daddy’s.” Then Katie Rose started looking through the laundry basket and pointed out that Debbie only had one pair of shorts with pockets, and I had a lot. Thus, it was probably mine. Debbie said, smilingly, Katie Rose didn’t know what she was talking about and should go away. Katie Rose said she was just trying to be “reasonable” in figuring out whose money it was. Debbie told her to go practice her trombone, and I said she had a good point. Furthermore, I said, the shorts were Debbie’s yard work shorts, and thus unlikely to have any cash stuffed in the pocket. For that matter, did Debbie often stick cash in her pocket? Debbie said, “Sure, sometimes!” Katie Rose objectively pointed out that Debbie usually put money in her pocketbook. Debbie told her to be quiet.

So with little encouragement from me, Katie Rose made a very logical case that the money was very likely mine. That’s my daughter! …Though, I’m not sure whose side she would have been on had the situation been reversed.

Katie Rose is 13

People always talk about the Terrible Two’s, but we found three to be a tougher age with our kids. At both two and three, they are trying to assert themselves, but I guess we found three more frustrating because the kids had better language skills, but still acted very headstrong. Katie Rose was particularly bullheaded, and Debbie said, “if she’s like this now, what will she be like as a teenager?” Luckily, she became much more easy to deal with by age four. In fact, Debbie called four “the Age of Reason,” since we could now talk with the kids about their actions and behavior. I think of the time from when Pete turned four as a golden age since both kids were old enough to understand us and young enough to still do what we asked (mostly).

Of course, Katie Rose still would frustrate us at times by not being quite so malleable. In the back of my mind, I would think of the dark shadow that still crosses my mother’s face when her kids’ teenage years are mentioned. Still, sometimes I think I can see how the cogs spin in Katie Rose’s brain. She thinks a lot like me, which gives me some insight into and empathy for Katie Rose’s more frustrating behaviors. Debbie sees some of the same actions and just shakes her head or says that Katie Rose is “your child.” Ever since Katie Rose was three, Debbie has sworn she was going to move out of the house as soon as Katie Rose turned 13.

As of 6:05 am today, Katie Rose is 13 years old. So we now have a teenager in the house. We had a birthday party with Debbie’s parents, and Debbie left for book club about 8:30pm, about a half-hour ago. I think she is coming back. Coincidentally and ironically, I recently took a new position that involves part-time travel, so for at least part of each month, I’m the one who has moved out. So far, though, I hear less about the problems of the then pre-teen and more about our dog Lucy, who is supposed to be my dog but who stays at Debbie’s heels and apparently wants constant attention when I’m away. I’ve got my fingers crossed (making it diff8c7lt t9 typ3) that it stays that way–Katie Rose less of a problem than the dog–at least until my travel slows down.

Calming down the kids

We finally saw Avatar last night at the IMAX theater in Raleigh. With some hesitation about the PG-13 rating, we took both sub-13 kids, and we all enjoyed it. We also saw the 7pm showing, which meant it was nearly 10pm when we got out, raising the question, “How do we get the kids calmed down for bed by the time we get home?” It turned out to be a simple two-step process:

  1. Stop by Krispy Kreme as the prelude to a sugar crash.
  2. On the way home, in response to a radio commercial, launch into a thorough explanation of credit cards, debit cards, and debt generally.

The kids should be asleep or feigning sleep well before you say “mortgage.”

Houdini Dog

Had we waited a few weeks to name our last dog until we had a better sense of her personality, she would have been named Twizzler, after what she got most excited about. We’ve had Lucy for a little over a month, and a alternate name which she is working toward is Houdini*, for she seems to be a master of escape.

It’s not like we did not have fair warning. On our very first meeting at the shelter, after deciding to take her out of her pen for a walk and a visit, she snapped her head as soon as the leash was attached to her collar and got free. But she didn’t run away, we tightened the collar, and she was good after that. However, when we left the shelter with her to head home, we made sure to get a harness as well as dog food on the way. We later also got a new, better-fitting collar as well. We sometimes take her out for short walks with just the collar, but we’ve found she’s able to pop open the snap closure on that collar.

At home, she has made several escapes out the cat door, which we knew would be a problem. We thought we had the problem temporarily solved by closing the sliding glass door to the sunroom with the cat door, keeping the door to the sunroom just wide enough for the cats but not wide enough for her. The door is heavy and is hard to slide, so that seemed to solve the problem until we could fence in our back yard.

Yesterday, we were at the state fair horse show all day, where Katie Rose was showing her horse Dr. Pepper**. A neighbor had kindly offered to walk Lucy a couple times during the day. The horse show dragged on into the early evening, and when we finally got home at 7pm, our neighbor had just come back again to check on Lucy for a third time, but Lucy was nowhere to be found.

She apparently wiggled out of the purported too-small opening into the sunroom and went out the cat door after the neighbor’s mid-afternoon visit. But rather than staying around the cul-de-sac, she went out exploring and ended up getting picked up running in the highway about 2 miles away. Even then, since she is skittish and scared of strangers, she was hard to get and had several people out of their cars trying to catch her. Luckily, she was not harmed, and the person who picked her up took her to a nearby vet’s office. The vet scanned Lucy’s implanted microchip, got our contact information, and called us this morning to let us know they had her. I picked her up, and now she’s back home, safe and sound.

We’ll now be getting a fence sooner, and probably a more secure fence and installation than we might otherwise have gotten. And we’ll be keeping the sunroom (and cats) sealed off until then.

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*Or Whodini, if we wanted to go old school with a Funky Beat.

**They did ok, placing in the top third to top half of most classes they entered, getting ribbons in all but a few classes. Her best ribbon was in the final, championship class, where she placed 4th in the 11-year-old class (out of 14-15 entrants).

1 Use for a Cat

As I backed out of the driveway today, I noticed our cat perched on the front porch watching over our newly seeded-lawn. Normally, a newly-seeded lawn would be a magnet for birds to come and eat the seeds. However, I felt confident driving away that few seeds would be consumed with Summer on watch.

Parenting Books Are a Joke

Tonight at supper, Pete complained that he didn’t want to eat his squash because he didn’t like squash. Hard for most parents to imagine, I’m sure. I commented, “The parenting books say that if your child says he doesn’t like something, he should try it 15 times before you stop forcing it on him. 15 times!”

Pete made a funny face, laughed, and said “Parenting book?!?!!” thinking that I was pulling his leg that there would actually be A Parenting Book. Apparently, to a 9-year-old, a book on parenting is just a big joke. At which point Debbie, who procures our vast library of parenting books, went and pulled one from the shelf that seemed relevant to the conversation at hand, “Kid Cooperation: How to Stop Yelling, Nagging & Pleading and Get Kids to Cooperate.” … Frankly, with a title like that, I have to admit I’m more with Pete’s “You’re kidding me, right?” reaction. But Debbie turned to one of the 5 pages flagged with Post-It notes, and read a few items from the list, “Reminder Page – Cooperation” [p. 55]. I particularly noticed the next to last one, “Use Humor,” which actually works pretty well with Pete.

I walked in to the bookshelf and grabbed several more off the shelf to show Pete there was actually more than one and then read the titles:

  • Perfect Parenting. Obviously, Daddy’s got this one down pat. Look, there’s even a bicycle on the cover because a perfect parent rides a bicycle.”
  • When We’re in Public, Pretend You Don’t Know Me: Surviving Your Daughter’s Adolescence So You Don’t Look Like an Idiot and She Still Talks to You. … Ok, this one, I think the secret is not to use so many words and you don’t look like an idiot.”
  • 101 Essential Tips: Cat Care” [no comment–self explanatory]
  • Kids, Parents, and Power Struggles
  • “and finally, Migraine: The Complete Guide.”

(He finally ate the squash.)

Wilmington to Washington to Wilson

We just arrived back home after a long weekend at Kure Beach and a 300-mile expedition through eastern North Carolina to take Katie Rose to camp.

The beach weekend was nice, but I felt a little claustrophobic trapped in a beach house that slept 9 with 11 people, including our family of four, Debbie’s parents, and Debbie’s sister’s family and their 3 kids. Since I’m still on crutches, I couldn’t get out and ride my bike or take a walk down on the beach if I wanted some quiet time. Still, the family got to enjoy the beach, and Debbie got her big, 40th birthday celebration with her family.

When we asked Pete what his favorite parts of the weekend were, he cited going to and playing in the ocean–so going to the beach was worthwhile. For me, I enjoyed taking the ferry last night from Fort Fisher (at the southern tip of the Wilmington peninsula) to Southport (on the Cape Fear River and just north of SC), where we ate fresh seafood in a dining room looking out over the river, with two lighthouses in the distance.

After we packed up to leave today, Pete went with his cousins to an aquarium and then rode back with them to Durham while we took Katie Rose to her Girl Scout camp. She is going to Camp Hardee, near Washington, NC, where the Pamlico Sound narrows into the (still-wide) Pamlico River. Thus, we drove about 150 miles from Wilmington to Washington–mostly on US 17 North–then 140 miles back to Chapel Hill.

Highlights:

  • Passed by Camp Lejeune and Jacksonville, NC, from which Debbie sees lots of patients at her job at the VA Hospital in Durham.
  • Went through New Bern and passed near Oriental, NC, where our first pastor in Durham had served before he came to Durham.
  • Washington, NC is a lovely little town on the wide Pamlico River. Debbie and I liked the old houses, the riverfront architecture, and we even stopped to take pictures of the beautiful First United Methodist Church.
  • Our restaurant in Southport had nothing on the dining room at the Girl Scouts’ Camp Hardee, which had big windows looking out over the river, which there more resembles a lake. My scallops in Southport are probably unrivalled by the camp food (though most camp food I’ve had is pretty good), but Katie Rose will probably be louder and have more fun in the Camp Hardee dining hall.
  • We passed through Greenville, NC, where our first pastor in Durham served after he left Durham.
  • We passed through Wilson, where our pastor in Chapel Hill is moving this week.
  • We stopped at Bill Ellis Barbecue in Wilson for a 4pm Sunday dinner. The barbecue was very moist and tender and seasoned well; the slaw, green beans, and sweet tea were good; and the banana pudding was great. I’ll definitely pay a return visit next time I find an excuse to be near Wilson.
  • We avoided a 2-mile backup on US 264 by swinging down on 264 Bus. through Zebulon and Wendell. A little out of our way, but nice enough towns–especially the pre-Raleigh-suburb downtowns–but I still can’t believe people commute from there through Raleigh to RTP and back.

Ultimately, a large chunk of the day was spent away from limited-access highways and passing through small towns. Debbie and I both find the small towns, country roads, and flat terrain comforting since it resembles where we grew up in SC, with the exception of more hardwoods mixed in with the pine trees. Mix in nice weather and plenty of time to be unhurried, and the long odyssey turned into a very relaxing day.

Coca-Cola 600

Before going on a Cub Scout campout–literally the last thing I did before we walked out the door–I bought tickets for my dad, my son, and I to attend the Coca-Cola 600 NASCAR race in Charlotte. My dad has trouble walking and on stairs, so I first tried to get “mobility-impaired seating,” but a Ticketmaster agent with a foreign accent said the only seating of that type available was for 1) people in wheelchairs and 2) with only one companion. Since we had three people and no wheelchair, I just ordered regular tickets and figured I could help my dad get in and out. Six hours later, I stumbled in the dark and broke my knee, ending up on crutches for the next 8 weeks.

I called Lowes Motor Speedway, whose agents were helpful, and Ticketmaster, whose agents were not despite their $15 “service” charge, trying to figure out the logistics of getting two mobility-impaired adults and one child to some seats. After several calls back and forth, I established where to park and that our tickets were only 4 rows down from a level accessible by elevator, which seemed acceptable.

We met my parents at my brother’s house in Rock Hill Saturday. After church and lunch on Sunday, my dad, my son, and I headed to the track for the race. Pleasantly, we did not hit any traffic until we got off I-485 at the exit for the Lowes Motor Speedway–and even then the backed-up traffic was only for the two miles on US 29, not even on the exit ramp. We were able to park directly across from the pedestrian bridge over US 29 nearest our gate, and a shuttle golf cart gave us a ride over that. Inside the track, we discovered that we had to climb one flight of stairs down from the elevator’s stop to the top of grandstands. Handrails on that flight made it more manageable than the grandstand stairs though.

We watched the pre-race activities, including several military helicopters flying into the track in honor of Memorial Day. One had troops rappel down from a hovering copter onto the infield grass. Another transport helicopter brought a pace car into the track for the day’s race. Usually after the national anthem, there’s a commercial break in the TV coverage, and then they have a race marshal or someone say, “Gentlemen, start your engines!” Sunday, the cars were not yet on the track during the national anthem. Apparently someone was looking at the weather radar: The teams started rolling the cars out after the anthem, but before the last 4-5 got from behind the wall onto pit road, it started raining hard, about 6:00 pm.

Sunday it rained off and on, with the blowers out trying to dry the track during the breaks. Apparently after a good soaking it takes about two hours to dry it, and when more rain started in about 8:30, they called the race off until noon on Monday.

We left the stands made our way back to the car, taking the elevator back down but having to walk across the bridge. The hardest part was Dad getting his walker the four rows up out of the grandstand, but he managed. We pulled out and into the nearest line leaving the parking lot, moving about 100 feet. In the next 2-1/2 hours, we moved another 3 car lengths–and 2/3 of that only because two cars in front of us left the line. Thankfully and at our urging, Pete went to sleep in the back seat around 11:00 pm. Three hours after getting to the car, we finally were 2.5 miles away, but back on I-485 and zipping along in light traffic. We got back to my brother’s house at 12:45 am.

The next morning, I packed, ate breakfast, went to church, and went to lunch with the rest of the family. My dad decided not to attempt another assault on Chrysler Grandstand B, Row 47, so I drove back to the race with Pete. Again, traffic was moving steadily until we got to US 29, and then it still flowed faster than Sunday–we made it to the track in about 15 minutes instead of 45. We were able to park again near the pedestrian bridge, and again catch a ride over it.

The weather forecast had looked promising for at least a couple hours of racing until more rain moved in. I had decided we should leave around 5pm–ideally while they were either racing or drying the track–to get back on the road to Chapel Hill with a chance a getting home at a decent hour, since Pete had school the next day. We got to our seats around 11:30 am, the weather looked good, and the cars were out and ready to be fired up. Pete and I were grinning at each other in eager anticipation. Around noon, they had another invocation and national anthem, then the engines roared to life, and we all cheered. The race was soon underway. There was one competition caution at lap 40 and a few debris cautions–including after Kevin Harvick brushed the wall–but no crashes. A short downpour brought out a long, 1.5-2-hour red-flagged rain delay around lap 80. Another stop at lap 176 followed a brief sprinkle, and it only took 30 minutes to dry the track then. By that time, I thought we should leave after lap 200 and arbitrarily picked lap 210. Jeff Gordon had been setting up to pass Denny Hamlin from lap 207 or so, so we stayed to watch the pass on lap 212, then left. As we were going to the elevator, we heard a caution come out. By the time we were walking across the bridge, we could feel it starting to drizzle and knew the caution was for rain.

We got out of the parking lot in good time this time around, but plenty of people had left during earlier rain delays, and traffic was stop-and-go up Speedway Blvd and for the first few miles on I-85. Although my good left leg worked the clutch, my right knee was starting to twinge a bit just going back between the brake and accelerator. Sunday, Dad had driven Mom’s Camry to avoid either of us working a clutch in heavy traffic, but Sunday it was just Pete and me in my standard-shift Honda. However, we got moving steadily before the twinges got any worse, and I got off the interstate before Greensboro to take US 64, on which traffic was very light and allowed cruise control.

Normally, I’d first head west on 64 over to I-85 Business and Lexington #1 BBQ, but a) I didn’t know if it was open Memorial Day, and b) I was tired and ready to get home. And we got home, uneventfully, around 7:15pm Monday night. This was my third time at this race. The first time I went to the Coca-Cola 600, it also rained (but not postponed), and I was also under an awning and avoided getting wet.

Pete was fantastically patient throughout the whole ordeal–driving down and back, tolerating his younger cousin’s need to watch “Tigger and Pooh” episodes at their house, sitting in traffic, sitting through rain delays, and sitting for 3 hours barely moving after sitting at the track Sunday. He even offered an unbidden “thank you for taking me to the race” while waiting for the start Sunday. I also got to spend a lot of time with my Dad, and we got to talk–instead of the nudge-and-point communication typical at races. All in all, it was a great time.

On Crutches

Updates since my last posts…

2009 April 24, Friday, 3:30 pm – Order tickets for my dad, my son, and I (3 generations of Joel Hands) for the Coca-Cola 600 race in Charlotte on Memorial Day weekend.

2009 April 24, Friday, 9:00 pm – On a campout with the Cub Scouts, I stumble in the dark while looking for a place to set up my telescope to show the Cubs and parents Saturn and some double stars in the Big Dipper’s handle. Walking back toward the campsite without my headlamp on, I step off a two-foot drop and hurt my knee. Still manage to do the telescope, but I’m limping pretty badly coming back. Debbie wraps it with an Ace bandage, says not to walk and keep off it, and gives me 4 ibuprofen.

2009 April 25, Saturday, 10 am – A physician on the campout looks at the knee and says stay off it, wait until either the swelling goes down or in a few days if it doesn’t go down before seeing someone back home. Debbie runs into a drug store in the nearby town for a pair of crutches and a bigger supply of ibuprofen.

2009 April 28, Tuesday – I usually work from home Mondays, but continue to work from home every day for the next few weeks. Luckily my job is mostly sitting in front of a computer, talking on a phone, and thinking.

2009 April 29, Wednesday – Orthopedist gets an x-ray and sees a “right tibial plateau fracture” and orders an MRI to confirm and to see if there is any soft tissue damage (torn ligaments, tendons, meniscus, etc.) Apparently my femur (thigh bone) came slamming down carrying most of my body weight onto the corner of my tibia (shin bone) during that misstep. Like a hammer on the corner of a piece of wood, there’s now a small indentation on the top of the tibia at the inside corner. I’m to stay on crutches and not put any weight on my right leg. He offers a prescription for pain medication, but the alternative 4 ibuprofen (800 mg) every 6 hours seems to be doing the job–although in hour 5 the knee is making its presence known.

2009 May 01, Friday – Get an MRI on the knee at UNC Hospital. It is a very weird experience. I am loaded inside the little tube, but at least my head is mercifully at the entrance instead of inside it. The technician keeps me updated with what they are doing, but as a disembodied voice over an intercom. I have to keep my leg still for 5-12 minutes at a time as they take about sets of images, for a total of about 40-45 minutes inside the MRI machine. During each set, there are strange clicking and humming noises, and I could swear my whole leg feels magnetized by the end (and I don’t have any metal plates or screws–so far, at least).

I had also started riding my bike again, doing 20-25 mile rides on nice days in March and April. I usually ramp up the frequency of rides in May and the weekend rides’ distance. No riding whatsoever in May this year, though. I also need to cancel my registration in the Blood Sweat and Gears ride–100 miles in the NC mountains near Boone–which is scheduled for the end of June, right after I get off crutches.

2009 May 04, Monday – Orthopedist gets the MRI report and confirms the fracture but there is no soft tissue damage. The treatment plan is to stay on crutches for 8 weeks, keeping the right leg non-weight-bearing, and get some physical therapy. Crutches are a bummer, but no surgery and not even a cast is required. Not great, but it could be a lot worse.

2009 May 05, Tuesday – My 41st birthday. Apparently year 40 could not just go by quietly.

2009 May 07, Thursday – Cub Scout leadership planning meeting. Lots of ribbing from other Cub Scout leaders ensues. Also, I forgot to take my ibuprofen (now 3 pills) until late that morning, and again 8 hours later just before the meeting, but I manage ok. Thus, the pain has dropped off considerably. By early next week, I’m down to 2 pills in the morning and 3 pills before going to sleep.

2009 May 14, Thursday – Go into the office for the first time since the accident on 4/24. Lots of ribbing from co-workers ensues. I drink a couple cans of Coke, but miss going to the cafeteria to get large cups of ice water a couple times a day. After a full day+ of work, I head straight to church to chair a Finance Committee meeting. No ribbing there.

2009 May 15, Friday – The worst part about this whole experience is just being on crutches. Not being able to carry things like a plate or a drink from room to room, or doing so with great difficulty, is the biggest pain. The knee doesn’t hurt much: It was uncomfortable at first if I moved or bumped the leg the wrong way, but with the PT (or despite the PT!), it’s fine now. I have not forgotten and suddenly tried to stand on it, which is good but a little surprising.

Pac-Man vs. Xbox

Three neighbor kids came over this morning while I was working from home and watching my daughter on a delayed opening day* for our schools. To give them something to do for 30 minutes until the bus came, I offered one my son’s video game systems, including an Xbox with 4 games or an a joystick with Pac-Man and a few other 1980s games built in. To my surprise, he chose Pac-Man.

Furthermore, my son got two new games for his Xbox for his birthday from my mother. They played one, a Harry Potter 4 game, for a week until his birthday party with his friend the following weekend. Since then, all his video game time has been devoted to playing the assorted 1980s video games. He has not even tried the other Xbox game (Shrek) yet.


*Our school system opens two hours late one Thursday a month to make up for lost teacher workdays under North Carolina’s law that limits the beginning and end of the school year.